When “I’m Fine” Isn’t Fine - Understanding C-PTSD
There’s a version of “fine” a lot of people learn early.
Not actually fine, just… functional. Show up, get through the day, keep things moving, don’t make it a thing. For a lot of people living with Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), that version of “fine” becomes the default — even when everything underneath it is anything but.
In this weeks episode, comedian Ally Dent joins us for a conversation that sits right on the edge of heavy and honest, without losing the humour that makes it easier to stay in the room.
What is C-PTSD? (Quick Breakdown)
C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) develops from long-term, repeated trauma, often in situations where someone feels trapped or unable to escape.
Unlike standard PTSD, which is often tied to a single event, C-PTSD is more like:
Ongoing emotional stress
Repeated unsafe environments
Long-term survival mode
It doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like:
Always being “on edge”
Struggling to trust people
Overreacting… or completely shutting down
Feeling responsible for everything
Not really knowing who you are outside of coping
The 4 F’s — Survival Modes
One of the most relatable ways to understand C-PTSD is through the 4 F’s:
Fight — pushing back, controlling, reacting strongly
Flight — staying busy, avoiding, never slowing down
Freeze — shutting down, feeling stuck, zoning out
Fawn — people-pleasing, keeping others happy to stay safe
Most people don’t sit in just one, they bounce between them depending on the situation.
Where Ally Comes In
What makes this episode land is Ally.
As a comedian, she brings humour to things that aren’t always easy to talk about — but never in a way that dismisses them. It’s more like… making space for the conversation without it becoming overwhelming.
There’s something powerful about hearing real experiences mixed with real laughs. It takes the edge off just enough to stay engaged, while still being honest about how messy this stuff can be.
The Big Idea
Not everything that shaped you was your fault.
But it does shape how you move through the world.
Understanding that isn’t about blaming anyone — it’s about recognising patterns, giving things a name, and maybe starting to respond differently instead of just reacting.
Why This Conversation Matters
A lot of people are walking around carrying things they don’t fully understand.
C-PTSD doesn’t always look like what people expect — it can look like success, humour, productivity, or being the “reliable one.”
Conversations like this help make the invisible a little more visible.
And once you can see it — you can start to work with it.
Join the Conversation
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself that changed how you see your past?
Leave a voicemail,
OR
Send it through 👉 oldmateandjosh@gmail.com
The Producer
Every good podcast needs someone who actually knows what the buttons do. For us, that person is Caleb.
While Oldmate and Josh are busy talking, laughing, and occasionally forgetting the microphones are even there, Caleb is the one quietly making sure the whole thing is being recorded properly. He runs the tech, wrangles the audio, and somehow turns a room full of chaos into something that sounds like a real show.
Caleb is the man behind the scenes making sure the lights are on, the levels are right, and the conversation actually ends up where it is supposed to. When the boys drift off topic, forget what they were saying, or start talking over each other, he is the one patiently sitting there making it all work.
He rarely jumps into the conversation, but when he does it is usually because something has gone terribly wrong or because the boys have said something too funny to ignore. When Caleb speaks, people tend to listen, partly because he is usually right and partly because it means something technical is probably about to break.
In short, Caleb is the quiet engine room of the podcast. The calm technical brain in a room that often forgets microphones are even on. Without him there would still be a podcast. It would just sound like two mates yelling into a toaster and wondering why the internet cannot hear them.
